BEFORE YOU BEGIN

WHY NOW?

When someone dies, heirs gather. Whether it’s for monetary, psychological or tangible reasons, your legacy will be discussed and dissected. In the process, conflicts may emerge as possessions are distributed and your estate is settled.

We’ve all heard the horror stories: family members turn against each other and disagreements and resentments may occur. In the wake of a death, siblings, step parents and children often behave in ways that are, to say the least, unflattering. These dissensions are not easy to confront and defuse. Sometimes as the division of possessions takes place, heirs develop unusual alliances with one another.

This handbook is designed to preempt unpleasant confrontations and prevent the kinds of permanent rifts that happen when siblings, parents and step families need to deal with unresolved estate issues. Whether you are organizing your own estate or you are helping your parents organize theirs, this book offers practical ways to avoid the typical pitfalls families confront when an inheritance — either large or small — is involved.

You may think that you do not really own much. But, look around you. Look at all the things you have throughout your home. It all adds up, and it all has to go somewhere.

Your reward for taking the time to face and deal with these personal and legal challenges in advance will provide relief and peace of mind for those involved in your life and your estate.

Furthermore, your family members may be relieved of an enormous burden. This book will help in the process of sorting out and simplifying complicated matters.

Once your plans are written down, that tiny voice nagging at the back of your consciousness will no longer ask, “What if something happens and . . .?” Instead, you’ll rest easy in the knowledge that your
affairs have been settled and, if you have children, that you’ve done everything you can to ease their conflict and pain.

Of course, confronting the facts of life — as well as death — means that all of you will be forced to discuss subjects that are uncomfortable. But if you work together, disagreements can be confronted and overcome in realistic and constructive ways. For example, you may have to face some uncomfortable issues. For instance, do both siblings want the antique clock or the stamp collection? Should the stocks be divided evenly among the children or should each child receive diff erent investments?

This isn’t the time to be lulled into a false sense of security. Let’s face it. That diamond ring might be pretty now, but it’ll turn ugly in an instant when both siblings want it. Don’t let it become a potential battle. Designate it now. So many people think that it is best to leave it up to the children to make those decisions. It is actually harder on them.

The more effort you make to do advance planning, the fewer problems there will be later.

INTRODUCTION - CHAPTER ONE

PERSONAL: THE NITTY GRITTY

This chapter involves your basic personal information, those small details that your loved ones may or may not know about you. Here, you list your name, address, licenses, employment and military service as well as various personal items, such as your pets, storage units, and credit card numbers.

One of the realities of life, is the need for passwords for an assortment of private accounts. Because it is secret by nature, usually we do not write it down, but memorize it, and hope we remember it. However, should we become incapacitated, someone will need those passwords. They are the private keys to your digital kingdom.

Note: Perhaps you may want to make a copy of these pages and store the filled in copy in a safe place such as your safe deposit box. We are not liable for you leaving the filled in copy on a park bench.

INTRODUCTION - CHAPTER FOUR

BUSINESS & FINANCIAL AFFAIRS:
PURSE STRINGS & OTHER THINGS

This is the list of “who’s who” in your financial world. It includes your personal and business information, from where you bank, to who does your taxes, whether you have any pension / retirement plans, such as an IRA or 401 account, to which, if any, credit union you use.

It is important to clearly list the names of the businesses and professionals that you contact. Your heirs need to know, in order to carry out your last wishes.

INTRODUCTION - CHAPTER SEVEN

MEDICAL: FROM HEAD TO TOE

All information regarding your physical and mental health should be listed in this chapter.

It might not occur to you, but in case of an accident or sudden illness, your family and friends should know the names of your physicians, your current medications, your pharmacy, which hospitals you prefer, and if you have a legal document for someone to make medical decisions for you. Also, if you have Long Term Healthcare, it is listed under Insurance in Chapter Six.

Planning ahead in your life, may include thinking about what senior living options are available to you, besides your current home.

Visiting local facilities can give you some idea, of the type of care and cost involved, should you need it.

Talk it over with your family so that they know your priorities. Stay involved in the process. Otherwise, you might end up somewhere you do not want to be, simply because no one knew what you really wanted. Let your choices be known.